Email to Everybody – 1995

Theoretically, I guess I could have sent this
to all thirty million addresses on the internet.

Instead, I just sent it to you.

You being the La Plaza Telecommunity
(at least the members who have not resigned
from being part of everybody)

If you are still reading, this far down the page
you probably know me personally and have
some curiosity as to what my point is.
Or else you must spend a lot of time
reading messages from people you don’t know
about things you never asked about.

In case you are someone I really know
and particularly if you are someone that
I might have to face in person,
let me warn you that this
very well could be
a shaggy dog story.

You know the kind
that go on and on and on and
you keep expecting a punch line
and it never comes.

If you haven’t deleted this epistle
and moved on by now,
you are certainly somewhere
on the outside edge of the bell curve.

Right there with me and all the
other characters who don’t like to admit
we read all the graffiti on the toilet wall.

The insane part of this is that my
graffitical urges are usually done
under the pseudonym Tenesmus.

No return address
no personal association
with the string of opinions about opinions
carved into the stall.

Yeah, OK.
Here’s my story.
Someone broke into my computer
and pretended they was me.

If you didn’t get it,
it wasn’t meant for you.

no replys no returns

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